 While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there
any gators around here?" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't
been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About
halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
A guy is out ice-fishing on a frozen lake. Saws a hole in the ice, drops his line and
waits. Nothing happens. Another guy is ice fishing just a few yards away, and has a nice
pile of fish stacked beside him. First guy waits patiently. Nothing happens. Second guy
reels in a fish every minute or so and stacks it beside him.
Finally, in frustration the first guy walks over to the second and asks him, "Say,
I notice you've got quite a few fish there, and I haven't gotten a nibble. Mind if I ask
you the secret of your success?" Second guy looks up with a funny expression on his
face and mumbles something with his mouth closed that is totally incoherent. First guy
says, "I didn't quite catch that. Do you think you could repeat it?"
Second guy makes more closed-mouth mumbling sounds. "I'm sorry, I really can't
understand you. Do you think you could talk a little more clearly?"
Second guy cups his hand and spits a big wad of what looks like chewing tobacco into
his hand. Looks up at the first guy and says very plainly, "Keep your worms
warm."
While fishing in Ontario I was baiting my hook when two six foot tall mosquitos
alighted in front of me. I was so horrified, I was unable to move. One of them said,
"should we eat him here or take him back home with us?" The other one said,
"let's eat him here. If we take him back, the big mosquitoes will take him away from
us." |
